Miss Pronounciation

Let's just say that maybe I get stereotyped based on my name. Girl that's a ghetto name or why would your mom name you that? Sometimes I would just get confused looks and that's just from my people. Then you have the others who say they love my name that it's beautiful and wished their name wasn't so simple but pretty those same people see my name on a resume and look past me because I just have to be black. My favorite question is "is that French?" I simply say no but my moms name is Antoinette you know like Marie Antoinette. I giggle inside though.

 I'm constantly reminded of how uncommon it is. Ant-twa-knee-qua. Yes! That's how you pronounce.
After a few years of being in school, I would simply get ready for each one of my teachers to butcher my name. I didn't really give them a chance. I would just raise my hand and say "It's Antoiniqua" and then they ask again and I would pronounce it again. It got a little better in high school but college amazed me. Somehow my professors said it exactly how it was pronounced and it was amusing, yet gratifying that I didn't get the side eye or have to say 3 times.

 Somehow I'm still the dimented black girl because I speak too proper for the name I was given. Socially confused by people who thought I'd never be able to spell my name because it was 10 letters. But so is Charolette and Clarabelle. I know my mom got slack from everyone. They probably said "how is that baby going to be able to spell her name?". I mastered it before kindergarten my darlings. My abilities have nothing to do with my name or where I should or shouldn't come from. My name is not a position or a complex it is me.

Yes my name is made up. It was made with thought, love, truth and honor. My mom wasn't thinking about me being like everyone else, she wanted me to be different. I mean who else's name is Antoiniqua. And though you may find it laughable or absurd it's more than just imagery, it's a state of mind to be different. To not always follow but to lead and follow those who are more honorable. To be unashamed and unafraid of the powerhouse.

It is true that I just introduce myself as Niqua nowadays to avoid having to go the pronouncing my name multiple times but somehow even my condensed version is confusing too. I love it though .001% of people have my name. That is AMAZING JUST LIKE ME.